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ben-likgüçsüzlük. o an bariz şekilde hissettiğim buydu. gözlerim ara ara açılsa da açık tutmayı başaramıyordum. zamanın seyri değişmişti. daha önce hiç bayılmamıştım.
bir kanapedeydim. kafamı kaldıramıyordum. bilmediğim bir ev, yabancı eşyalar. hangi zaman diliminde olduğuma ulaşmaya çabaladım, ama her dilim birbirine karıştı. saatin kaç olduğunu merak ettim. şimdi düşününce ne kadar da komik geliyor. gökten bilmediğim bir gezegene düşmüş gibiydim ve merak ettiğim ilk şey saatin kaç olduğuydu. saate bakmayı başarabildim, sonrasında kafam yeniden ağırlaştı.
dizlerim tutmuyordu. bu hissi daha önce yaşamamıştım. daha sonrasında dizlerimin çözüldü&
diyalog - hoscakalNe güzel bir haber bu.
Anlatmalısın bir ara bana, nasıl oldu.
Umarım çok güzel olur, mutlu olursunuz.
Hatta, eminim, mutlu olacaksınız.
Evet, çok sevindim.
Eh, yapacak bir şey yok.
Biraz burukluk yok değil,
Ama sonunda bu zaten olacaktı,
Neden tersi olsun ki.
Tabii, film de izleriz.
Birdenbire olması daha güzeldir belki de.
Hayat devam eder.
Bugüne kadar ettiği gibi
Başka yolu var mı.
O kadar da olsun.
monolog - bir zamanlarZamanı gelir ve her bir kişi bu zaman geldiğinde benzer ruh hallerine elbette kısa geçişler yapar diye düşünür ve kendime uzaktan bakmaya çalışırdım daha gençken hatta çocukken ve bu bakış bana ne kadar küçük, gerçekten de ne kadar küçük olduğumu hissettirirdi benim dışımda geride kalan her şeyin yanında. Diğer canlıların, kuşların, sonrasında böceklerin, sineklerin, kedilerin ve hatta köpeklerin dışında bizzat yerkürenin sadece topraktan ve sudan ve havadan oluşan yerkürenin çıkardığı sesler nasıl da yükselir, ağaçların yapraklarının ve onları hareket ettiren rüzgarın sesi ve hatta varlığı çok sonradan geçmişe bakınca anlıyorum ki içime i
gun bugunuyku saatini kendin secmemeye baslaman ile seni nelerin ayni anda cevrelemekte oldugunu umursamayisin ile beraber saniyelerden haftalara yillara uzanan bir yolun neresinde oldugunu kestiremiyorsun artik.
onunde ve arkanda ve her tarafinda seni bekleyen onceden hazir edilmis yazilmislar beklemekte iken harflerden olusan gercek anlamlarindan uzak kelimeleri kullanarak hayatinda diger ve fark ettigin etmedigin her seyin arasinda bir bosluk, hepsinden bir bosluk acabildigini zannediyorsun, 'gercek'ten ve 'an'dan git gide uzaklasarak.
yarina inanmali derken icinden bir ses aslinda yarin bu dunyada olabilecek pek cok seyin icersinde senin inanmak istediklerine dair yer olmadigini anlayamamak yarini gormekten vazgecmeni saglayamiyor butun geri kalan o seylerin ihtisami yaninda.
nefes almak ise yasamak, senden cok daha zor nefes alanlara dair hicbir sey yapmaman (yapamaman degil,) kalbinin kasilip gevsemesinde herhangi bir ufacik degisiklik yaratmamakta.
muzik diyordun, edebiyat diyordun, edeb
d57Neye inanıyordum ben.
Hani söylediklerim vardı,
Sonra başkalarını kandırdım hep,
kandırırım ben hep.
büyüğü ve küçüğüyle.
Okyanusta yalnız yaşayabilen balıklar yok mu,
kalabilme yolu olmalı,
gözleri ve duyuları kapamalı.
Yapmıştım daha önce,
Uyur gibi davranmalı,
rüya gibi de yaşamalı.
başka çıkar yol kalmadı.
İnanmamalı ve kanmamalı.
Ne de olsa az değil tuğlalarım.
Zor olmayacak örmek duvarımı.
O zaman gün ışığı giremez işte içeriye.
Bir ay ışığı,
gelsin ve yansısın görmeyen g&
d56Kahkahalarla gülüyorum sana dünya,
sen de benim gibisin.
Bir anda değişebilirsin.
Her şey nasıl da güzel derken hasatını biçersin.
O an gelmeden kimseye söylemezsin.
soktun attın beni toprağın dibine,
ölü bir tohum gibi ektin.
Işığın gelmiyor artık bana,
Lanet mi okumalı sana,
Yaptırmıyorsun bunu da.
Ben değilim o,
sensin değiştiren her şeyi.
buluyorsun hayatta kalabilmemi.
Hiç zor değil,
Ne de güzel kandırdın,
Bir tokadın hayattan düşmem,
sonraki dönmem için.
İşte böyle seviyorsun acı çekmemi.
Çok komiksin bir de.
Hala görmüyor musun,
yiyecek bir şey kalmadı art
I will. (warning for prose,but mostly description)I.
I will rouse myself from casket mornings, and I will flex the 11 (or was it 12?) muscles in my mouth to form a smile—however painful. I will keep it there… because kindness bandages wounds in the best of ways. I will sip the horizon from my coffee, while weaving fairytales—without ever thinking that I’ve not the innocence anymore… because I’ll make it not matter. I will.
And I will forget him. I will… because ghosts only appear if you look at them, and he’s loved my nightmares—my tears—long enough. And because I’ve haunted myself long enough.
I will allow myself to feel human again, because I’ll remember that rain rids filth, but I’ll try to keep myself wishing less for forgetting-tsunamis… less for escapes just because of prints engrained in roots and soul. So I’ll forget his fingers straying past my heart—the way muscles seized, and cardiac arrest knew betrayal—and the way
Innocent Victim Chapter 7"What?!" was all that I could choke out. Titanic mated with Lusitania and had shiplings?! Why had she not told us?! Of course, he knew the answer to that; they would've forced her to be rid of the shiplings and she would've been punished hard, maybe even scrapped. Maybe it was for her own good. he thought.
Mauretania just continued to talk, "Please don't tell anyone! If anyone finds out their half-liners, and especially from Cunard and White Star, they'll be killed! And I'll be killed too, for protecting them and hiding the secret! Please, you have to promise me you won't tell anyone unless it's Olympic!" she begged.
Britannic was quiet for a moment, thinking. Why should he help her? All she had done her entire life was dis his line and attack his most respected sister with harsh words and actions. But that didn't make it right to where he would tell the whole world and get not only Mauretania killed, but two shiplings that didn't deserve it.
He hesitated and sigh,
What I'm Thankful ForMy cats.
My video games.
My family. Sometimes.
That's about it.
Wife's Feet After Work (Unbelievable Tickle Story)My Wife came Home from Work and reminded me that two of our friends were stopping over for a Thanksgiving drink and some pizza, wings and snacks and such. Kevin, a younger Nuclear Tech. and a nurse named Dianne, who I wrote a fantastic tickle story I had with her and her feet a while back, was coming over too.
As I was saying she came Home and was rushing around and I told her to relax and she did just that. After she kicked off her tennis shoes she went to the bedroom to get clean clothes, which were on the bed since I just finished laundry, and sat on the bed then she laid down on it. I quickly got my cell phone for some quick photos.
I came in and she felt the pillows going over her ankles and she begged me not to do this cause there wasn't anytime. I replied that if she just let me take a few then it would be over quickly.
As I was getting into position she told me that my favorite pair of socks might be getting tossed shortly and she showed me the hole in her big toe. Now I realiz
Rant.If anybody here works at Google, DA, Bing, whatever. I want you to see if you can make this happen. Get pony filters on the search engines. Why? Because I'm going to tell ya.
Couple days ago I was looking up a toaster on Google and 5 My Little Pony pictures came up with no toasters in it. What. The Fuck. This is one of the reasons why I hate My Little Pony. When I search something that doesn't have anything to do with MLP, it somehow magically turns up. I'm not even joking. It's stupid. They should add a filter to those search sites so if I want to search something, there shouldn't be ponies in it. Except if I actually type in the search engine "My Little Pony" or "ponies". If I type anything else, it should not appear. When I search dinosaurs, my little pony shows up as some of the results. I don't know why! Dinosaurs can eat those ponies but I bet they would vomit from the taste afterwards! More then half of the pony franchise is in random stuff that I type up, in ads, or in the fanb
Sound of Vengeance Chapter 2Iowa had not yet left the spot he had rested in since the day Yorktown left. As his siblings played with their kin carriers, he sat and stared out to sea. He was the oldest of the four, his radio tower was already done being formed and he was 80 feet long. Just a bit more maturity and he would be ready to join the Navy and take the fight to the Japanese!
As he watched, with his battleship sight that could show the smallest details on a ship from 16 miles away, as far as his turrets would aim, he noticed a small black dot on the horizon. It was a carrier, familiar in shape, and it was speeding towards the harbor at full speed. As the carrier got into his sights better, he smiled. "Mom's home!" he cheered and dashed forward to greet her.
At the sound of their mother being called, Missouri, New Jersey and Wisconsin looked up. With grins on their faces, all raced forward to meet Yorktown. The carrier yelped with surprise as the four shiplings jumped onto her and hugged her. Iowa was the fi
UnlovedHave you ever been afraid of being alone forever? Felt that sudden grip on your heart when you think about the future? Or how unlikable you are or might be to the desired sex? Sometimes I feel that. But I'm not necessarily afraid of being without someone I love- It's more like I'm afraid of pushing people so far away- of being so unfeeling- that I become unlovable.
I don't want to be that old lady who's eating lunch alone in a restaurant, with no wedding ring- no signs of people who love her- nothing but herself lost amongst the sea of jubilant, vibrant people. I'm lost. I'm scared. I'm angry. I'm a monster.
I don't know how to fix myself.
I don't know how to be who I want to be.
I don't know how to be the right person.
Dawn of The HuntThalia sighed as she tossed another smooth stone across one of the lakes, she was pretty far off from both whiterun and the rest of the companions had decided to go hunting and leave her on her own. "Typical just because they found out that I'm Ulfric's heir they leave me out of everything." she muttered as she tossed another rock watching as it hit one of the rocks and hit the water causing small ripples to disrupt the surface. "Maybe i should leave and go back home." Thalia muttered as she shook her head. "Then you wouldn't be able to be taught how to fight." a voice said as it came up behind her. "Shut up, Vilkas i know that. i mean i didn't even want to join in the first place, if it wasn't for you saving my life..." Thalia said and sighed as she tossed another rock. "Well you got a point their." he said a bit surprised that she had recongized his voice even though they had only talked a couple times. "Hey Vil, how come your not with the other compa
The Dance of Couples As the busy streets of Tokai were buzzing with its catering of shops and the ringing of bikes, there are many moments in the streets that create a lasting impression. I know, I remember one event that helped me and my girlfriend become closer.
It started with me and my girlfriend walking in the streets; looking at the various shops and enjoying the scenery. Then, there was this one building that caught our attention; a dancing academy who was giving out free dancing lessons today. It must of have been a celebration or something. Anyways, I was asking my girlfriend if she wanted to try it out. Even though she was getting all embarrassed, she did agree to go. When we got inside, the place was very elegant. Like there were gentlemen and ladies everywhere and I felt like I was a butler. When we were walking in the room, a person was guiding us to the changing rooms. Apparently, we needed to dress up so we can dance properly. I was wearing pro
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^Nyx-Valentine arrived in our community and started whipping everyone into a frenzy with her relentless desire to bring the Artistic Nude and Fetish galleries to the fore. 9 years later, and it's safe to say that Nyx is not only a leader as a photographer in these galleries, but she has also established herself as a much saught after model. ^... Read More